has vaginal dryness and pain in intercourse. She first
describes sex as something she 'endures'...a second
reason vaginal dryness is problematic for some women
is because they do not discuss what they enjoy in sex...
consequently, heterosexual women and men who do not
discuss their preferences rely on dominant ideas about
'real' sex, which results in some women enduring discomfort,
pain and bleeding during intercourse...In contrast, three
women's ex-husbands initiated discussions about vaginal
dryness, but these men showed concern only for their own
sexual pleasure...Similarly, two women's accounts illustrate
how declining libido and orgasm intensity after menopause
are also perceived as symptoms of poor relationships, not
menopause. For example, when Selena, a 60-year-old Caucasian
lesbian, became postmenopausal, she was in an abusive second
marriage during which she 'came out of a deep denial that I'm
a lesbian.' She attributes her decreased libido to her relationship:
'Because he was a very bad lover, and, yeah, totally fixated on it
[intercourse] and no skill at all.' When she first became involved
with a woman, she says 'the drive came well to active levels again.'"
- "Sex, Menopause, and Culture: Sexual Orientation and the Meaning of Menopause for Women's Sex Lives" Julie A Winterich
side note: I got Abortion & Life by Jennifer Baumgardner in the mail today! Jennifer Baumgardner, along with Amy Richards, created the Feminist Boot Camp I'll be attending this summer. I'm really excited to read her and Richards' book Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism and to meet them this summer. Also I can't stop thinking about Leslie Feinberg's book Stone Butch Blues, I've always had an interest in gay and lesbian culture pre-Stonewall but something about that book seeped into my subconscious and I can't shake it.
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