Monday, March 29, 2010

on menopause and sexuality

"Ellen, a 53-year-old Caucasian married for 34 years, 
has vaginal dryness and pain in intercourse.  She first 
describes sex as something she 'endures'...a second 
reason vaginal dryness is problematic for some women 
is because they do not discuss what they enjoy in sex...
consequently, heterosexual women and men who do not
 discuss their preferences rely on dominant ideas about 
'real' sex, which results in some women enduring discomfort, 
pain and bleeding during intercourse...In contrast, three 
women's ex-husbands initiated discussions about vaginal 
dryness, but these men showed concern only for their own 
sexual pleasure...Similarly, two women's accounts illustrate 
how declining libido and orgasm intensity after menopause 
are also perceived as symptoms of poor relationships, not 
menopause.  For example, when Selena, a 60-year-old Caucasian 
lesbian, became postmenopausal, she was in an abusive second 
marriage during which she 'came out of a deep denial that I'm 
a lesbian.'  She attributes her decreased libido to her relationship:  
'Because he was a very bad lover, and, yeah, totally fixated on it 
[intercourse] and no skill at all.'  When she first became involved 
with a woman, she says 'the drive came well to active levels again.'"
- "Sex, Menopause, and Culture: Sexual Orientation and the Meaning of Menopause for Women's Sex Lives" Julie A Winterich

side note:  I got Abortion & Life by Jennifer Baumgardner in the mail today!  Jennifer Baumgardner, along with Amy Richards, created the Feminist Boot Camp I'll be attending this summer.  I'm really excited to read her and Richards' book Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism and to meet them this summer.  Also I can't stop thinking about Leslie Feinberg's book Stone Butch Blues, I've always had an interest in gay and lesbian culture pre-Stonewall but something about that book seeped into my subconscious and I can't shake it.  

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